Last days in elementary school

A little girl sat on the cold gym floor. It was hot outside, so she had worn shorts, but the cold floor and a slight sunburn had chilled her.

She was tired; it had been an exhausting holiday weekend. One by one, the talent acts went out on the floor and auditioned. Bad karaoke. Hip hop dances to pop songs. Children dancing to numbers meant for teens and twenty somethings; the edge of inappropriate lyrics - kids having fun. Excellent pianists, bad drummers, a violinist, creative skits, stand-up comedy.

Meanwhile, she's cold, hungry, tired. Her eyes look dull. She has the hint of a head cold, a raspy throat. How's she going to sing?

The end of the school year, her last in a great elementary school; it's hard to say 'goodbye.' Where did the years go? Where was I?

Then it's her turn to get up. A cappella, words memorized, a song with great depth, feeling and emotion, another level removed from the other children, serious, soulful. She nails it. The expression, the artistry. The stage moms all look over at us, "good job!" She got their attention.

The song - about an American Indian's relationship to the earth, to nature. About appreciating animals, mountains, the wind. About respecting people of all color.

My eyes sting. My heart pulls in my chest. From whence did she channel that voice? Will everyone hear her, or are they too distracted, too tired, late in the day? The sad transitions of late May, early June. To feel old and young at the same time. The strikes she rolled at the bowling alley, accidentally by bouncing the heavy ball off the gutter bumpers. She's still rolling strikes, and she's growing up.

The powerful, and politicians, playing around

What is going on with all these men being brought down by their own bad behavior? The chief of the IMF, Dominique Strauss-Kahn, apparently attempted to rape a hotel maid in NYC, and then was stopped minutes from taking off from Kennedy airport on a flight to Paris. His countrymen were shocked at least, some of them - he was expected to run for President of France next year. Do men like this think their worldly power makes them untouchable?

The Arnold Schwarzenneger story - how sad. It's creepy because the housekeeper he got pregnant was still working there; Arnie and she playing a charade, all those years -what devious game-playing in Maria's own house. Sick, twisted - a real "True Lies" movie. I'm glad he took care of the kid but I think this is all really disappointing from the ex-governnator of the state of California. Their 38th Gov. really bottomed out here.

Charlie Sheen - you know, I think he really IS a warlock. That part of his rant we might as well believe. Yet, how perfect, the show creator Chuck Lorre came up with Ashton Kutcher - touche' on that chess move. I speak for the women of America in saying, Ashton is plain so much hotter than Charlie, it just blows him out of the water. Yeah! Are they really considering the female audience on this one? And for Charlie S -that has to hurt. And he said he was irreplaceable. Ashton, you've just pulled the biggest "punked" of all - for real.

Mel Gibson has sunk to smarmy. (Wow, spell checker didn't throw out that word!) Anyway, Mel may never make it back now. His new movie "Beaver(?)" only made something like a paltry $100,000 opening weekend at the box office. Remember not so long ago when he was one of the biggest mega-stars, ever? But if he made a great movie (if he could get anyone to do it with him) would we like him again?

So is it just having a big box-office hit helps one clear the hurdle to redemption? Robert Downey Jr., so talented and struggling so intensely with addictions, seems to be doing quite well now. The huge success of several movies, including the $300 million box-office smash Ironman II, must feel pretty good. That's great - I'll still never forget him in Chaplin, where he brilliantly channel Charlie Chaplin when he was still quite young. It was wonderful, endearing. Hang in there RD. No more jail jumpsuits for you, I hope!

Who else had it all and took himself down - John Edwards: I heard it said he had totally ruined his brand. It's hard to imagine him ever being elected to public office again. Tiger Woods isn't winning - he hasn't won a major tournament since 2009. If he were winning, would all be forgiven again? My, we are a fickle species. You may not know who Mark Souder, ex-representative from Indiana is, but he's from Grabill, right down the road here. Another one that had it made until his own silly deeds made him self-destruct, and he's out of office. Look that one up on Google if you want details.

I'm tired of picking on men here. It takes two to tango. But I don't want to hear of another politician doing raunchy things and playing mind games with his own family. Just 'fess up if you screw up. You might get a chance to start over. Best of all, just go back to thinking before you act. Thinking, that is, with the correct head.

Tina Fey Rocks

I just have to say something about Tina Fey. I admire her so much. She is so funny and clever and brave, from writing and performing on Saturday Night Live, to her outstanding creating and performing on NBC's 30 Rock.

Beautiful and confident, she doesn't fit the stereotypical image of a woman in movies, or Hollywood. As the fake breasts get bigger, the hair gets blonder and the plastic surgery gets shinier, Tina has not let the large scar on her lower face slow her down. It is reported she was slashed by a stranger in her own front yard at the age of five. To have not let that get in her way of writing comedy and performing on stage is inspirational.

Now pregnant with her second child, she hosted SNL last weekend. I watched most of it on the Internet this week, and I love her understated, underhanded wit. Too soft-spoken to be abrasive, one can see the political brilliance of this - the message is more digestible when one is laughing while swallowing. A lot of male comedians have said in the past most women aren't as good at being funny as men are. Have we gotten over that? Are any of them intimidated by Tina? Try saying those last three words fast. I stumbled even trying to spell it.

I've read her pieces for The New Yorker. Her writing stands well alone, which shows her versatility in the world of comedy. What makes her performances work is not so much her physical comedy, but the writing behind it. Yet, she is fearless about making herself look silly or whatever it takes to pull of a gag. Her new book is on the best-seller list, and I'm sure it would be a quick-paced and hilarious, insightful read.

Look what she's done for the career of Alec Baldwin. If you heard him gush about the credit he gave her when he accepted his Emmy a few years ago, you would understand. Their boss-employee relationship on 30 Rock is one of my favorite things on network TV. To make fun of their own industry - he would have been president of GE (sigh) but he's been sidetracked as a programming vice-president of a network swallowed up by Cablevision. Brilliant biting of the hands that feed them. You have to love the United States and what a free media can do.

The recent episode of SNL with Tina Fey was interesting, in part because they dared try use comedy in reflecting on the extinguishing of bin Laden, and managed to do so pretty well. On the Weekend Update - "somewhere out there must be 72, pretty bummed -out, virgins." And Tina as a hot, red-headed Ariel the Mermaid - when a shrouded corpse floats down through the water. That doesn't sound funny here; you probably should just see the whole skit for yourself. Friends of Qaddafi dressing up like Navy Seals to scare him - "don't sneak up on me like that!" Funny, yet ominous. It's why I admire comedians so much. So complex, so able to help us transcend. Some of the best communicators. It's a fine line; not easy at all to do. The subtlety, the timing. Bless you, Tina Fey. May more of our daughters model themselves after you.

And thank you to Weekend Update on SNL. My favorite joke of the show may have been the one Seth Rogan made about the recent conspiracy theory. He said because of it, President Obama may be the first black person in U.S. history to have to try and prove he killed someone. Clever, clever.

A Sunny Mother's Day in the Fort

It's a beautiful mother's day in Indiana, after all the rain we had in March and April. I've seen bluebirds, goldfinches and a great blue heron today. What a tall bird the last one is - standing on the dock, the shy bird seems to be as tall as a human.

What an honor it is to be a mother. And a joy, and a worry, and a marathon. But today, the memories are pleasant ones - thinking about what it was like when the little ones came into the picture.

When my son was born, I remember how beautiful I thought he was, even the smashed face from his moving through the birth canal. The thick head of dark hair, so unlike mine. The instant bond of love. I wanted to hold him close, and I didn't want him spending the night in the nursery without me - I kept him in the bassinet next to my bed in the room while I slept.

I remember his startle reflex - sometimes when dreaming, or if something wakes them up, or they are moved when sleeping, etc., newborns will throw their little arms over their heads, shaking their hands, reaching out, just for a second - it is so cute. Swaddled, tight, they feel secure. It was just one of the many things I learned as a new mother.

I never felt so alive as giving birth, so re-energized - and also never closer to death. I don't know if other new mothers feel this way, but there were times during the pain and trauma of birth I felt that death could be a real possibility. Then it's over, and the body actually did what it was supposed to do. Another day, another miracle.

My older daughter, so pretty, so perfect - a woman to follow me and my line into this world. Her eyes, almond shaped, more exotic than mine - so lovely. Her alabaster skin.

My second daughter - we were slower getting to the hospital before this one was born. We were driving to Lutheran Hospital on the south side of Fort Wayne in the night when my husband missed the interstate exit. The baby was coming quickly, and the next exit was many miles away. My husband made a decision to cross the interstate medium to turn around and get me to the hospital before the baby came out. Luckily we managed to accomplish this without eliciting a police escort. This baby came, no medication on my part. Probably the most intense birth from that standpoint, but somehow also very rewarding. This baby had so much phlegm, the nurses stuck a long tube down her throat and suctioned a bunch of the mucus out - the whole thing was somewhat alarming as I lay there watching, but the nurses worked as if it was par for the course, all in a day's work, which I'm sure it was for them. And then that was that, and I held her, and she cried more forcefully. In with the good air, out with the bad.

I don't know what it's like to be a father, and watch helplessly as the life you've made grows and comes hurtling out of the woman you love - that sounds somehow terrifying to me as well. I can't imagine how that would feel. But I'm thankful to be a mother. I'm sorry for the women who would like this privilege and aren't able to experience it. I love the little gifts for Mother's Day, and most of all I love the gifts walking around in front of me who allowed me to experience this part of life.

I don't miss being nine months pregnant and feeling like I'm walking around in a full body cast stuck on me. I don't miss driving and being so immobilized I can't really turn my head around to see what cars might be behind me. I don't miss the loose skin and other changes you really don't want to hear me elaborate about. But God bless our mothers, our mother earth, and all of us. I can remember my own mother rocking me on her lap. I wonder what memories my children will have of me. I hope there will be some fun ones mixed in there with the hugs and discipline and nurturing.

Gotta love Dollar General

It was a late spring and and a much awaited Easter, and I wanted to make the Easter baskets more meaningful this year. Fewer plastic eggs, less candy: more necessary, useful stuff that will last. So I took a trip to Dollar General.

This no-frills store is a staple of mine. I buy detergents, trash bags, greeting cards and personal products here at rock bottom prices. Sure, they had plenty of chocolate bunnies and plastic grass here, but I had a pleasant brainstorm.

I found colorful plastic shower totes with handles, that were the size of large pails. Cheery and sturdy, they would make good storage containers after the holiday, in a way that more fragile woven baskets would not. I put some colorful Easter grass in the bottoms of these.

I picked an eclectic mix of surprises: a small bag of Doritos, blue Gatorade, a DVD movie. Hair accessories for the girls - barrettes, coated rubber bands, clips and ribbons. Nail clippers, tweezers, lip gloss, fingernail files. A couple of pieces of jewelry to accent an Easter dress. A little bit of good chocolate candy, but with all the other surprises, I didn't have to load up on the "bad" candy.

We also picked out special cards to tell the children what special Easter gifts they were to us. It was nice to tell them that again, and have fun with little gifts away from the madhouse of the Christmas season. No one was expecting as much, so it was fun to do it then. Dollar General made all of this more affordable. I like the simple approach of this store. Some of these stores haven't kept up as well, and have junkier inventories, but the one I go to is well kept and clean. One thing I like is the two charities the corporation supports - one for literacy, and Autism Speaks. Good causes, both.

The kids had hunted eggs on Palm Sunday, so I didn't hide any this time. They had some fun with Silly Putty - remember when we were told to press it down on the Sunday comics, to copy a picture? Then it was possible to stretch the pictures out and make them even funnier. Silly Putty, in its egg-shaped container, was a good fit with the Easter theme.

The kids had dyed eggs at school, so that had been done also. I love when they bring home milk-carton craft bunnies and edible Easter scenes. Marshmallow Peeps, pastel candy corn - what is wrong with me? Maybe it's time to cook a nice roast. Leave the candy to the kids. It all brings back memories though, of innocent Easters long ago. Bonnets, and families in their Sunday best. Nothing wrong with that.

New things in vending machines

I'm fascinated by what I've seen in vending machines lately.

I already blogged about Red Box, the DVD vendor. Now I'm finding new products in machines in lots of other places, including the one you see on the right - a proactiv skin care dispenser.

I've seen this line of cosmetics advertised heavily on television, aggressive marketed with celebrity endorsements. We've all seen mall kiosk booths with humans selling products, but this automatic job is in the middle of Glenbrook Square Mall, Fort Wayne - really?

I don't use this product but I took a look at it in the machine, and scrolled through the on-screen menu. Their "30-day-trial" of three samples of a small amount of the basic product
was $30. Just swipe your credit card. Prices go up from there.

I'm just surprised the other mall tenants don't complain about these vending boxes. It seems like competition to stores with employees, but maybe they don't care, it serves different markets. Maybe this is how they do it in Japan.

There was another one I actually used lately, and was delighted to have found. It was for Clinique products, which I love. It was in a terminal of the Dallas/Fort Worth Airport. I was shocked to stumble across it.

Where else do you see high-end makeup products neatly lined up in a vending machine? I always felt the human touch was something Estee Lauder Co. pushed hard for Clinique - well- trained, well-groomed counter staff. Good at selling. Has its branding so helped the line's reputation it can sell on autopilot in a faceless machine? Very interesting.

I really like the Dallas airport, by the way. My favorite thing is the Skylink High Speed Train that connects the five terminals - most rides only take an average of five minutes. I like it much more than those diesel buses or long-distance hoofing it.

I also like DFW's many personal care features, including the Samsung Mobile Power Lounge, with lots of oversized leather lounge chairs and ottomans. It is such a welcome change during a connection, rather than those awful, welded-together airport chairs. Tons of people go in the area to charge their phones and devices.

But back to Clinique. I took out my credit card and bought a box of my favorite product - their Dramatically Different Moisturizer. Sometimes I'll buy something other than this, but I was out, and I really love it. It's just the right chemical compound for my freckled skin, and to each her own. Too bad this one doesn't have SPF. I also like their make-up products. Remember their classic bar soap, that came with the green sliding soap case? Didn't every teenager want that product? It is a quality line, in my mind.

What else is going to be coming out in a vending machine? I can't wait to see.

The Best Years of our Lives

Michelle Obama and Dr. Jill Biden, wives of our nation's President and Vice-President, have been touring the country talking about the focus of their charitable cause: lay-citizen support of military families, and making us all more aware of the sacrifices they make.

These families experience many challenges while their loved ones are away on deployment in military service. They face single parent struggles financially, the challenges of parenting children alone, loneliness, and other stresses. Meanwhile, their spouse may be endangering his or her life in the defense of our freedoms. Many of us don't know lots of military families, unlike in some of the previous wars of this nation, in which most families had one member or another serving.

Seeing the First (and Second) ladies on their press junket reminded me of the movie "The Best Years of Our Lives," in which three men return from the hardships of World War II and face the challenges of assimilation back into society. Released just after the end of World War II, it won seven Oscars and dealt with themes that ring true today, in which servicemen and women struggle to find their places again once they return home.

So many of the themes are the same - soldiers with limbs blown off, trying to rehabilitate. In this movie, the real actor lost his hands in the war and had learned to manage with hook prosthetics. Homer lights a cigarette, shoots targets with a rifle, takes piano lessons, and delicately scoops ice cream with a spoon at an old fashioned soda fountain.

There is even anti-war sentiment: not in hippie garb, but in regular suit clothing. A man feeling sorry for the hook-armed sailor tells him the United States shouldn't have entered the war. The sailor is told he lost his arms for a less-than-noble cause. The debates about going to war are nothing new.

We see PTSD - although no one calls it that, of course. The airman Fred has nightmares and sweats, dreaming of being shot down, bullets and planes crashing, men on fire. His wife tells him to "snap out of it," get on with the business of living. If only he could.

But let us not hate the people we fight. The anti-racial remarks, against Asians or people of Arabian decent, is very old in this country. Here, the line is "last year we were killing Japs. This year it's about making money." I've heard the same things from men in other wars, such as those who fought in Vietnam. Many things, including types of food from the foreign countries, were of no interest to these veterans.

There is also the generation gap, in which the devoted teenage son has trouble becoming excited about the Samurai sword his father has carried home. He's more concerned that if another war begins, "everyone will just be blown to bits the first day." Such was the legacy of our post-war baby boomers.

The real-life double amputee in this movie, Harold Russell, is wonderful, and carries the movie. Myrna Loy is so poised and classy, a real lady: a standout in Hollywood. But to be honest the acting is sometimes overdone, the dialogue or screenwriting not completely natural. Hoagy Carmichael, the songwriter, is actually a good actor here, and plays the piano.

Mrs. Obama and Dr. Biden are right. We need to think about and support our military families in any way we can. Maybe base housing segregates them too much from other families, I don't know. We can't ignore the sacrifices they make. And we don't seem to be any closer to putting an end to all wars.