Post-Valentine's Day - are you an Einstein with your Relationships?

A new book caught my eye at the Grabill Public Library yesterday. Of course there are tons of self-help, psychology and relationship books on the market, but this book grabbed me. It is written by married couples: an MD couple and a PhD couple. The book is based on, most significantly, 40 years of research with real-life couples.

The book is called The Man's Guide to Women. I recommend reading the whole book. It's pretty entertaining, and very up-to-date. The story I would like to share today is a little piece from near the end of the book, about Albert Einstein and his wife.

We all know who Albert Einstein is, correct? The scientist who developed the theory of relativity? Yeah, that guy. A lot of people think he may have been the smartest man that ever lived, and was certainly thought of as being a great genius. But even this great guy didn't seem to well understand women and marriage.

Our authors tell a tale from another book, Einstein: His Life and Universe by Walter Isaacson. Isaacson reports that Eistein gave his wife Mileva a list in 1914. These were his expectations of her if she wanted to stay married to him.

I'm going to change his format and paraphrase here a little, but this is the list from him to her:

You will make sure that my clothes and laundry are kept in good order, that I receive my three meals in my room, my bedroom and study are kept neat, and that my desk is left for my use only.

You will forego my sitting at home with you, and my going out or travelling with you.

You will not expect any intimacy from me, nor will you reproach me in any way. You will stop talking to me if I request it. You will leave my bedroom or study immediately without protest if I request it.

There is a little more to the list, but you get the idea.

Even though this was 1914, at a time when women didn't have many rights of their own and divorce was highly stigmatized, Mileva left Albert a couple of months later. She took their two children and filed for divorce. Isaacson reports that in the settlement, she received all his Nobel Prize money.

Einstein may have been brilliant, he may have known a lot of things, but he didn't know how to keep from losing his wife. I think the good news here is it doesn't take an Einstein to do the things that make a relationship work. The average Joe can do these simple things if he is willing to learn, if he cares, if he tries and continues to make an effort.

It works both ways, of course. Women need to do their part equally as well. I'm not going to try to teach a course here, so I'll stop. If you're interested, get the book and read it. Or read any one of a large number of books on the subject. It's really up to you. Is it work? Maybe. But aren't marriages and relationships work? That is what I have always been told. For me, it is a very rewarding type of work. Peace!