No, I'm talking about something much more dangerous: what your children are possibly doing on the Internet. It's the Wild West out there. Anything goes. Sad to say children are exposed to many things, potentially disturbing things; violence, pornography, hate and bullying coming at them over their phones, iPods, iPads, Nintendos, Kindles, tablets, laptops - all those things YOU bought for them, placed in their hands, said "here, this is for you.". And YOU continue to pay for their high speed wireless connection, their data plans, their monthly cell phone bill, etc.
Yet, do you really have any idea what those children are doing with those devices you have paid for? How naive are you? You need to have, if this doesn't happen already, a regular dialog with your children about what it is they post on the Internet, and what is appropriate. Because I am sure many of these kids don't realize the lifelong implications of what they are doing when just trying to have some fun.
Be so bold as to ask to see your children's content. Who's paying the bill, anyway? If it's such a big secret, why? Because this isn't like having a conversation, or writing in your diary at home. This is OUT THERE. Every photo you post of yourself, every time you say something unflattering about someone else, everytime you mention wild partying, it is stuck OUT THERE. You can't really delete it. Someone can, and believe me does, take a screen shot of what you or your kids put out there. The kids think only their friends see this stuff and it's kind of anonymous, underground. I can tell you, it is not.
Here's a big problem. Potential employers, as a regular part of the job, will do Internet searches on their candidates. And they find this stuff, your First Amendment freedom of speech foul language, your racy photos of yourself. And you are judged by this to be a loose cannon. And you or that young person is not hired. Or worse - you or your child are preyed upon in some way.
Yes, the Internet is a wonderful tool that can help us all in many ways. But we are all in our infancy with this. So I recommend absolutely putting strict time limits on how much time is spent with these devices. Monitoring choices of sites, useage, purpose, and regular conversations about same, however uncomfortable or resistive the kids are about it - because the kids think they are in charge. They think the adults are intimidated by this technology or are too dumb to find their way around. Come on, grown ups, change is a big part of life. We do constantly need to know how to do some new things and get familiar with new tools. You can do it!
I absolutely recommend for parents to use a search engine and search their children's names over the Internet to see what pops up. Or, type into your search engine the kid's name and also the social media outlet, such as Twitter or Instagram or whatever the hot new one is. Or, your child's friends name, boyfriend, girlfriend if there is some reason you have concerns. It's out there, and I really don't think you want to be the last person to know. I've seen some stuff by seemingly innocent young children you would not believe. They are kids, they are experimenting, but some of them are also leading double lives. They will grow up, but this stuff will not disappear. Don't be afraid to check. It's your job. And then do something about it. Sometimes you can catch children doing something right, and reward them for that, with words or otherwise. But when you catch them doing something that could hurt themselves or others or is disrespectful or unworthy of them, there is nothing wrong with calling that out. To be continued -
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